Just WAIT!

David Gates will not leave me alone

“A smile relieves a heart that grieves
Remember what I said
I’m not waiting on a lady
I’m just waiting on a friend
Just waiting on a friend”

— The Rolling Stones, “Waiting On a Friend”

Unfortunately, I am a sucker for wistful, longing, heartbreaking ballads…and I’m already playing David Gates’ “Goodbye Girl” in my head.

Blasted David Gates.

Initially, I was going to lead off with quoting Pink Floyd’s “Wish You Were Here,” but then realized, “wait, I think I sort of trashed them a couple of weeks ago quoting ‘Wish You Were Here’” Sure enough, I looked and I did. I may have been a little hard on them, but I still stand by my comment it was the worst concert I ever saw.

Sooooo…

“I know you’ve been taken
Afraid to hurt again
You fight the love you feel for me
Instead of giving in
But I can wait forever
A helping you to see
That I was meant for you
And you for me”

— David Gates, “Goodbye Girl”

Instead, I pivoted, mindlessly plugged in my earbuds, started writing and, sure enough…David…Fucking…Gates. If you are new to my ramblings, “Goodbye Girl” is not exactly in my wheelhouse. At least I did not think it was. David Gates is not cool, but he is almost cool for not being cool. I cannot think of another song by him. But that song is hooked into my psyche, and it will not let go. I am coming to terms with this fact, even though I hate myself a little bit for liking it as much as I do.

So, yes, a good ballad can weasel its way into my head and become a solid go-to four minutes of escapism. Even without earbuds firmly in place, David Gates’ heartbreaking ode to the risks associated with falling in love gets me every single time, drowning out the hum of the fridge, overlapping the squeals of tires on the street in front of my house…a street NO ONE ever pays attention to the speed limit on…and even the tapping of my keyboard. Unfortunately, it cannot drown out the scream of sirens currently running down that street.

But “Waiting On a Friend” is a more affecting song…for me and for several reasons. First, it is hard picturing Keith Richards thinking to himself, “Y’know what? I should write a ballad.” Second, the story of how the song eventually came to be, sitting in the back of Jagger’s and Richards’ memory banks for nearly eleven years before finally being released on vinyl. What other gems are still hanging around in their frontal lobes? For another, Jagger insisted in an interview that this was a song about friendship, not just a romance.

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”

— Laozi

“But I need someone I can cry to
I need someone to protect
Making love and breaking hearts
It is a game for youth
But I’m not waiting on my lady
I’m just waiting on a friend”

— “Waiting On a Friend”

Everyone has moments in time when you just think, “I’d love to share this with…blank,” but that person may not exist, or he/she exists but is in no hurry and will just keep you waiting, or maybe he/she/they do not know they are that person you are waiting for. And you wait anyway. It is heartbreaking and hopeful all in four minutes and twenty-four seconds. It is also one of the better music videos at the outset of MTV’s existence.

And that is what probably hits me the hardest. Mick is singing of that age-old desire to share something significant with someone. It does not have to necessarily be tied to romance, just a passionate friendship and an unending desire for that shared connection. Plenty of rock’s shared connections – Lennon and McCartney, Townsend and Daltry, Robertson and Helm, Waters and Gilmor, Springsteen and America’s illusory ideal of itself – ruptured, leaving plenty of wreckage, bitterness and legions of accusations, lies and innuendo. The Glimmer Twins started with wreckage and quickly decided each needed the other. They never needed to wait.

“Just let me be cynical for a moment. First of all, it’s really NOT about waiting on a woman friend. It’s just about a FRIEND; it doesn’t matter if it’s a man or a woman. I can see people saying, Oh, we’re all much older now, Mick’s writing this much more compassionate stuff, must be about a real person. But that’s only in their perception of it.” – Mick Jagger, 1983

“We were first recorded it in Jamaica with Nicky Hopkins. But it had absolutely no melody, top line or anything. It was the band just playing this thing, this riff and this pretty melody. And then I had to go back and start thinking, “Well what’s that going to be about?”” – Mick Jagger, 2021

Jagger is one of the most erudite rock stars ever. My admiration for anyone who can write a song with lyrics, add music, and slap them on a record and sell it is significant and well-documented. To read how that process goes on (at least in Jagger’s head) is interesting to me. It does not SOUND too complicated, but I think it IS very complicated.

I would love to get inside the head of Jagger, Richards, and, yes, David Gates, to ask how they knew this would be the song, the notes, the riff that would tug at hearts, that would carry many meanings to many people over DECADES. What is the DNA linkage that gifts this ability to certain men and women? The same can be said of painters, novelists, movie makers and journalists. Something that is that extra lift to make extraordinary work.